I can't see you anymore....

So I have these two friends....kind of. I say kind of because one of them only contacts me when he's horny, and the other guy, well...it's complicated.

Just so you don't get confused and their anonymity isn't exposed, I'll call them Tampa and Texas. Tampa being the one who calls me when he's horny, and Texas being the other guy.

I've known Tampa since HS, but was never good friends with him - I guess you could say our friendship circles intertwined. I had friends, who were friends with his friends. It was late February/early March when he first contacted me on FB. (Ahh...Facebook...what a great way to connect with those, whom you have not seen in forever...good times)

I'm not going to lie, when a very good looking guy pays any attention to me, I like it, especially, when this good looking guy reminds me of Michael Bublé, has a sexy, lazy country drawl and calls me "darlin" immediately. Since I knew him back in HS, my little red flags - to which I am finding are not in proper working order - did not pop up. Not even when he started making very inappropriate references to his body and working parts.

My friends call me naive, but my best friends call me innocent and stupid. And I am stupid. My mother thought it would be funny to gift me the "Sex for Dummies" book after I graduated from HS. I read it, and then left it on my coffee table as a conversation starter. It's one thing to be book smart, but it's another to be street smart.

Which am I? That's none of your business.

Anywho.....the last time I wasted my time with Tampa, we pretty much agreed that neither of us were really interested in each other. I was looking for love and romance, and well...he was looking for sex and unattached one-night stands. The funniest thing was that he told me that it wasn't going to work out for us, and that we needed to go back to being ONLY platonic friends. Tampa and I were non platonic/platonic off and on throughout 2009, but I was kind of glad that we had come to a mutual agreement of sorts to end this thing - whatever it was.

Texas, on the other hand, is a little bit more complicated. I met him on FB during an online game play. He was my opponent, and I was losing. Always wanting a fair fight, I messaged him on the chat link within the game and asked him for a rematch, since the game clearly did not like me. And he accepted. Again, we began playing, and again he began to beat me. This annoyed me emensly! So I messaged him a 2nd time requesting yet another rematch, which again he accepted. By our 3rd game, neither of us cared who was winning. We were messaging back and forth - I asked him, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like a specific person from a specific show? His reply, "No...LOL..." (Yes, yes, I hit on him. But his profile picture was HOT!)

With FB, playing an online game against other FB opponents, usually means that you are not friends with them. There are some games that your friends can be part of your army, or clan, but this particular game only allows you to play strangers. Since neither of us wanted to end the converstation, we became friends on FB. (I am pretty sure he wanted to keep talking because he did search me out, not the other way around, but what do I know....nothing really.)

Each time I would log on, I would look for him, and we'd chat and find things in common about ourselves. It was kind of scary how much we both liked the same things, movies, color, music...wait...he did think Ghostland Observatory was kind of weird...but whatever. I think we FB flirted a good two weeks. I was instantly hooked. Here was a hot, very good looking guy, who liked the same things as me, and who said I was beautiful - why wouldn't I fall for him?

The things I didn't want to think about were the fact that a) he was not a Christian, b) he lived in Texas, and c) he had a girl friend.

Here in lies the part where I am stupid! I thought that I could change his mind with charm and wit and hilariousness.....HA! He lives with her - did you know that? He also is in love with her too - except flirting with other girls is an okay practice. And the biggest kicker - they got engaged for Christmas.

My bff told me last night, after he called me STUPID, "Rachel, Texas doesn't like you. He has what he needs and can have it anytime. You are not important to him, and he is really not your friend. And Tampa, he's just looking for one thing - sex. He's also not interested in you as a person, nor does he care about your feelings. You ought to dump them both."

So...I have a decision to make - Do I stop being "friends" with both of these guys and delete them from my FB account? Do I stop accepting text messages from Tampa, and naughty pictures from Texas?

A secret - I think I am more worried about hurting their feelings when I unfriend them, then I am about letting them play with my emotions. I am stupid.

If they don't care about me, like my friends say, then why am I having such a hard time cutting the cord? I think it's because I am afraid that if I take a stand and say no more, then I will be left to stand alone. And my biggest fear is being alone.