My mother suffers from depression. She's had it practically all my life. So I started to wonder if depression was hereditary.
Most anyone who knows me would say that I am a relatively happy person, quirky and silly at times, and have my blonde moments; hardly ever sad. But everyone has a facade they hide behind.....
I've had 2 emotional breakdowns in my life. The first was after my mom was hospitalized on a suicide watch for her depression. The second happened two weeks before I was to move out of my roommate's apartment and 3 emotionally/verbally abusive years too late.
When I'm angry, upset, and/or sad, I tend to hermit myself and withdraw. But I don't think that I've inherited my mother's depression. I have issues with having dirty hair, so not showering/washing my hair is not an option. And my TV is in my living room, so when I'm tired of laying in bed, I usually get up and lie on the couch to watch TV, so staying in bed all day doesn't happen. And during the week, when I have to go to work, I get up and go. Outwardly, I look like a normal functioning person, but inside, I am counting down the minutes until I can leave and go back into my shell. And I may draw morbid and scary pictures, but I would never hurt myself, or contemplate suicide.
However, now, I've got this new friend. He's the life of any party, but doesn't have to be the center of attention. He's always got something to do, but always makes time to hang out with me. And even when I'm feeling like my hermit crab tendencies are upon me, and I don't want to leave my house, or hang out with anyone - he calls, and I always go and hang out. It's like, he knows before I do, but doesn't say let on that he knows anything.
I know what you're thinking.....I'm in love with him, right? Wrong. He is my best friend, and I totally heart him, but I'm not in love.....He's plotting my death as we speak.
He's a pretty amazing friend. =)
Where do I run to?
2 years ago
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